I Can Change
by Ellie1
Summary: Crais comes to Moya and wants to join the crew. However, they are not happy with it, and Crais decides to use a song to help his case...


Title: I Can Change  
Written By: Ellie Wickes  
Produced By: The Chittering Little Monkey  
Spoilers: None  
Summery: Crais wants to joining up with Moya, and to ask them, he uses a song...(South Park)  
Category: Dumb Comedy  
Rating: PG-13 (for language)  
E-mail: BOKUwaKAMIdes@aol.com  
Disclaimers: I don't own South Park, I don't own Farscape, crap. The Chittering Little Monkey just kidnapped them.  
Notes: I wrote this after I heard "I Can Change" on the South Park Movie soundtrack while I was working on The Evil Demon Fic.  
  
*****  
Everyone was in the kitchen area eating dinner. It had been a long day of frolicking in the Uncharted Territories. Suddenly Pilot appeared in his happy holographic cubby. "Excuse me, but Talyn is approaching, and Crais wishes to come aboard and speak with all you."  
  
Crichton began to choke on his food cubes, and D'Argo promptly and very happily pounded him on the back. "Oww...thanks, I guess.."  
  
Meanwhile, Aeryn was getting to the point. "Pilot, what does he want to speak with us about?"  
  
"He didn't say anything about that. He is willing to let you search him for all weapons, and do whatever you see fit so that you can feel safe enough to let him aboard."  
  
Aeryn turned to all the other people at the table, "So, what should we do."  
  
Zhann was the first to speak, "We should let him come aboard, he seems to really want to talk with us."  
  
D'Argo added to her vote, "If we let him come aboard, we should run every test we have."  
  
"Ok, vote time. Who is for it?" Crichton said, raising his hand.  
  
After living with the pathetic excuse for a biped as long as they have, the aliens knew what he meant, and all of them raised their hands as well. It looked like D'Argo's suggestion of scanning the living (and maybe dead) crap out of Crais, had turned their minds into wanting the insane Captain aboard.  
  
"Well, Pilot, lets let him on."  
  
They all filed out of the room and down to the cargo bay, where Crais would be.  
  
When they met up with Crais, they immediately set into the task of scanning Crais for weapons.  
  
After half an arn, they were done, and Crais looked like he had seen better days.  
  
"Ok, you are clean, so talk." Aeryn said eyeing the man carefully.  
  
Crais cleared his thought, and then spoke. "I wish to live aboard Moya with you. Talyn has rejected me, and I need a place to stay."  
  
They gaped. And in unison said: "WHAT?!"  
  
"Well..."  
  
Crais began to sing and dance.  
  
"Some people say that I'm a bad buy,  
They may be right, they may be right.  
  
But it's not as if I don't try,  
I just frell up,  
try as I might...  
  
But I can change, I can change!  
I can learn to keep my promises I swear it,  
I'll open up my heart and I will share it,  
any microt now I will be born again!  
  
Yes I can change, I can change...  
I know I've been a dirty little bastard.  
I like to kill, I like to maim,  
Yes, I'm insane   
but it's ok because I can change!!  
It's not my fault that I'm so evil,  
It's society, society pouty  
you see my parents were sometimes abusive,  
and it made a prick of me.  
But I can change, I can change!  
I can learn to keep my promises I know it!  
I'll open up my heart and I will show it,  
any microt now I will be born again!  
  
Crichton begins to talksupposed to be Satan talking to Sadam, who is really singing this song  
  
But what if you never change,  
what if you remain a sandy little butt hole?  
  
Crais begins again  
  
Hey Crichton!  
Don't be such a twit!  
Pilot ((Pilot has been put in place of Mother Teresa, because it fit better)) won't have dren on me!!  
  
Just watch! Just watch me change!!  
Here we go, I'm changing!  
  
Crais begins a happy dance  
  
Ahhhhh..  
  
Crais continues the happy dance, but now he is whistling too  
  
Hey Cricton!"  
  
Aeryn, Crichton, D'Argo, Chiana, Zhann, Rygel, Pilot, Moya, and all the DRDs fainted.  



End file.
